Call me Mare. Not “Mary” (boring). Not “Merr” (like a cow moo-ing).

Direct and to the point. Only a few people in my life say my name that way. One of my four siblings, an old friend from high school, and an old friend from college. That’s it. I know a lot of people. But I’ve never communicated to anyone as directly as I have to you how I like to be referred.

“Why?” you ask.

I think it in my mind and refrain from saying it.

“For fear it will be laughed at, dismissed, or unheeded?”

Yep.

“So what?”

Exactly.

In all my years of writing, teaching, counseling, tutoring, being a daughter/sister/friend/mother/etc., I’ve rarely told people what I prefer to be called. Yet I have the utmost respect and admiration for people who do, and who also make their pronouns clear as well. It’s a prime example of constructive communication. This is how I want to be referred. Done.

I’ve established LarkinWorks Writing & Coaching to help people learn how to communicate effectively and at the same time constructively, on a personal and professional level. The two parts of ourselves—personal and professional—should be complementary but also mindful of our audience. Constructive communication takes into account what we want to say that best expresses who we are and what we think but at the same time reads our audience and how they might best understand what we want to say.

It sounds easier than it is, though, I know.

So, let’s get started on making it easier.